Seven of Nine gets long overdue closure in 'Star Trek: Picard' episode 5

Nov 29, 2019
"Now buttle off and tell Bajayzl that Monsieur Picard and his lovely assistant are here to view the tapestries"
...had me in hysterics. By far the funniest picture captions of any review, thank you!
Feb 23, 2020
Seven of Nine's story arc 'closure' on Star Trek Online is satisfying. I don't need to see Gore P^ on my television screen, and certainly not in what's supposedly Star Trek. I was regrettably subjected to that scene with Icheb and together with the cannibalism hilarity in Discovery, I am absolutely horrified at what the vandals are doing to the franchise. It's supposed to be about boldly going where no one has gone before, seeking out new life and new civilizations, optimism and hope. Not regressing a decade into the torture and snuff of the Saw and Hostel franchises. I will no longer even bother to monitor it to see if it's worth watching. The answer is a resounding No.
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Feb 23, 2020
I was lukewarm on it at first, but now I'm under the impression that ST:picard is a ****ing abortion.

It's got too many characters to handle, doesn't know what it wants to do with any of them. So is Picards Romulan surrogate son raised by Romulan ninja nuns (a ridiculous sentence even for a sci fi show) a warrior or the comic relief? After 1 episode the writers don't seem to know.

The main plot is convoluted by too many side plots which muddy the waters even further. It's building up as some huge conspiracy mystery plot but from what I've seen, the writers don't have a clue what they're doing. They don't even know what they're building towards, I'm sure.

It's doing more damage to the Star Trek franchise than the first season of TNG which had some arguably racist and sexist episodes early on. That's how bad it is.

Episode 5 had some seriously grating clunky expositional dialogue, often repeated twice over, or said by one character then repeated in a slightly different way by another character. More stupid out of place stuff like holographic ad popups on the ship. Lots of padding as they didn't bother to write the B plot of de-assimilating the Romulan Borg on the broken Cube ship this week - can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing but I was getting tired of Post British Romulan Brother Guy getting emasculated by his moody sister for... reasons.

I went full MST3K and ripped it apart after 10 minutes until the end of the episode to the person I watched it with. Seven was wasted, Picard as a stereotypical 18th century Frenchman caricature was painful to watch and so backwards from what Star Trek is supposed to be about, Frakes who usually directs brilliantly had nothing good to work with.

Everyone involved in the show right now should hang their heads in shame. Discovery was much truer to the spirit of Star Trek even though it was overly reliant on strong females without also having strong males (gender bias in the opposite direction to the usual) and they couldn't land the ending two seasons in a row. Nowhere near the absolute aching travesty that ST:picard is.

Let me put it this way... it's 8 episodes long and I will get to the end of it out of mere morbid curiosity, but if it were 10 or more I would give up now. I could literally rattle off an entire essay about what's wrong with it as compared to any good show, not just Star Trek as a franchise, but there are more qualified people than me to do that.

Kurtzman, you're pissing the fans off dude, you need to fix this ASAP otherwise by the end of the second season the only people left watching it will be the ones who do so only to rip it to shreds.
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Nov 16, 2019
I was lukewarm on it at first, but now I'm under the impression that ST:picard is a ****ing abortion.

Mostly agreeing but disagree on Discovery vs Picard, Discovery is unwatchable, mainly because the lead is an atrocious actor (Sonequa Martin-Green) (don't try and throw the racist card at me, Guinan is possibly my favorite secondary character in all of ST). I used to watch TWD when it was decent and always thought she was the worst actor on the show. But CBS wanted to play the double whammy new age card: minority + female.

The biggest travesty of all of this is that Patrick Stewart agreed to lead this show after being nearly adamant on never doing ST again, he should have stuck to his guns.



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