Looking at the link Helio posted earlier (
http://www.owl232.net/papers/twinparadox.pdf ), it seems to me that the "paradox" comes from incorrectly assuming that the inbound and outbound inertial frames of reference are identical in their effects for the differences in the experiences of the "Earth-bound" twin and the "space-traveling twin". That link makes it pretty obvious that there are basically 3 frames of reference that are inertial, and that you need to stay in one at a time to figure out what the result will look like in that frame. And, the link shows that the frames for the Earth twin and the space twin while traveling away will give the same quantitative result for the age difference that occurs after the Earth twin has experienced 20 years of time while staying there.
Since this thought experiment would crush any actual physical thing if tried in the real world, due to the assumed instantaneous accelerations to large fractions of light speed, it seems that we are going to be forever stuck trying to relate such things to the real world.
On the other hand, we do seem to have actual physical experiments in the form of GPS satellite clock corrections that do seem to validate the time dilation effects of both the Special Theory of Relativity and the General Theory of Relativity. So, unless somebody can show me how those measured effects are either wrong or being mis-interpretted, it seems that we have proven 2 things:
1. time really is dilated by relative motion and by proximity to mass, and
2, we are really poor at being able to comprehend how this works, except by doing the math
correctly, in accordancwe with the actual theory.