My formal 2024 solar eclipse apology

[Admin]

I used to be an eclipse hater, and now I'm not. That's the story.

My formal 2024 solar eclipse apology : Read more

 

[GalacticDaddy]

All of this. I was "narrating" the eclipse for a crowd in our small downtown area. Upon removing my glasses my voice cracked and I almost teared up, but I remembered that I told my 14 yo daughter that I wouldn't embarrass her. During the next four minutes, I forgot that she was there, I called Venus Saturn, forgot the word "corona" and really just kind of lost mental faculties while staring at this hole in the sky.

Afterwards, it really bothered me that I didn't connect with my kid while she was sitting there. That was the whole reason for keeping her out of school that day. Yes, our schools stayed in session. But during the eclipse I was just agog at what I saw and forgot to have that moment with my daughter.

And now three days after, I'm still in this melancholy mood. What's next? My memories of the event are as you described. Did I really witness this or did I dream it? For the four minutes that we had, was I mysteriously transported somewhere else and NOT there with my daughter and friends? Did they disappear too?

Great piece and thanks for the thoughts.

 

[jimbo5]

Really enjoyed your writing Monisha. Unfortunately was not able to witness this eclipse but your words capture such attentive awareness of the event. I draw parallels with my experience of watching a transit of mercury back in 2019.

 

[apcantonphotog]

Excellent article and thoughts. I can relate so much to what you're feeling and what you experienced. Why, I've been wondering, after such an event, did I feel depressed all of a sudden? It was a moving, chaotic, and totally awesome adrenaline rush (my hands were shaking ), but why this feeling of anhedonia? Maybe I am still so overwhelmed to the point that I can't process it correctly. I've been asked many times what it was like to see the total eclipse by people who didn't see it, and the words escape me. I won't attempt to describe it to anyone because I realize it's a "feeling" you get from the experience and the ultimate "you had to be there" moment, so my response is always, "it was unreal". And I don't say much else because I don't know if I truly understand what I experienced because it was so surreal. I'm in a strange existential crisis at the moment. I can't stop thinking about it. I've been trying to replay the total eclipse in my head with accuracy the last few nights while lying in bed, with images of me standing by my aging parents as we looked up at the sky, the exclamations of nearby people, the dimming light, the cooling, the black dot hovering above us, alive and like a portal to another world.

 

[kabrown633]

You describe it perfectly. I saw totality in 2017 in South Carolina and I unexpectedly cried. I remember feeling disoriented and like I didn't know where to look. A bald eagle flew right over my head and people were screaming. It was so remarkable. I still get chills when I think about it. Unfortunately, clouds arrived in Buffalo three minutes before totality this time. But the collective feeling we all shared as we were plunged into darkness was still wonderful. Thanks for describing something that is impossible to describe.

 

[Helio]

Converts are always fun to hear from! Apology accepted.

Nice article and well-written! It takes talent to better define the world during moments when it exhibits strange behavior. [Is this a prerequisite for Space.com writers? ]

A total eclipse is one of these moments. It's uncommon for people to look up, especially at the painful Sun; it's outside our normal mindset. To help get folks on the above things, a PowerPoint on the Sun and eclipses was presented just prior to the beginning of the eclipse. Perhaps the knowledge gained helped us transition into the surreal.

Only a sum of several seconds of the eclipse was visible through the ubiquitous clouds. Ironically perhaps, the thick overcast boosted our experience by adding to the surprising degree of darkness we experienced. I couldn't see the courtyard fence only 30 feet away. People nearby vanished as they were gently bathed in darkness.

A PP astro trivia contest was done after the eclipse, which was a way to keep our minds elevated on the things above a little while longer, and in a fun way.

Though many had to leave their home early to fight the traffic and some had to take off from work to attend, I was surprised at how everyone were so openly excited from their time together.

 

[Fogcollectordan]

Here's my reflection of this event:

The Mist Eclipse

The tension was building for months, if not for years. The last total solar eclipse to pass North America for 20 years! The news of the event portrayed people crying in Mazatlan at the sight, clouds parting in Texas enough to see the event, an airplane flying right under it in Indiana visible to those on the ground, viewers in Niagara Falls catching a priceless glimpse during an in-and-out break in the weather, and my family and I in Rochester, NY (along with the population that was there and the 100,000 visitors) only seeing the thickening clouds darken to late twilight and then lighten back.

Having seen the eclipse of 2017 in Oregon, I knew the spectacle we had missed and the gem that lurked behind the clouds in a direction that I had to guess due to their thickness. A phenomenon that demonstrates the incredible serendipity of the sizes and distances of our moon and sun that leads to an enigma that is both sun-and-moon and is neither sun-nor-moon in an amazing specter of contradiction. An event where the invisible disk of the moon covers the blinding brightness of the sun for long enough to reveal what is there, but which we can otherwise never see. A cosmic distraction of opposites that provides a momentary respite from our own earthly challenges based on our own differences and polarizations that appear miniscule before the grandeur in the heavens.

My disappointment in missing this was heightened by my desire for my childhood family, my sister and my parents, who are in their eighties, to witness their first of this rare and unearthly treat, much less right from our own driveway where I had spent many an hour scanning the skies 45 years earlier. As a person who researches and captures fog (itself a form of cloud) and an astronomy enthusiast as a child, this contradiction was also apparent to me. I love both the clouds and the mysteries in the skies, just not at the same time.

What this eclipse did bring, however, was my childhood nuclear family of four together once again, a rare ‘eclipse of opportunity.’ It was also a reflection for me of the relatively minor disappointments that we endure in light of the suffering many face in the world right now. It provides a drop of hope that those who were fortunate enough to witness the eclipse may take with them to help reveal a deeper truth and opportunity for opposites to come together to produce a positive reality that none of us could have imagined.

 

[Jeanne Loring]

This was my 16th total solar eclipse, and it still evoked the response in my reptilian brain that something is very wrong - a touch of fear that the sun is gone forever. For some reason, I like this!

 

[FizzyLinn]

I used to be an eclipse hater, and now I'm not. That's the story.

My formal 2024 solar eclipse apology : Read more

Thank you for this article. I saw totality in 2017 in Wyoming. When that giant black spot seemed to suddenly appear in the sky, I could not understand what I was seeing, didn't know what to do with myself, just walking around weeping and babbling excited nonsense. As soon as it was over, I knew that the emptiness and loss I felt was only going to be filled by experiencing totality again. For this year's eclipse, my boyfriend and I made our way to his hometown in rural Indiana to view with his brother and parents from their front yard. This time, I reasoned, I knew what to expect. I was again awestruck and emotionally overwhelmed, but what I wasn't anticipating was the almost panicky feeling that it was going to come to an end even before it was over. And felt the same inexplicable loss immediately after.

I understand eclipse-chasers now. It's like an addiction, but worse because you absolutely have to wait and have the money, time and fortitude to be in a physical location that may be nowhere near where you live. Spain in 2026? Egypt in 2027? Australia in 2028? I need to make more money...

 

[TrailX]

I was lucky to have clear skies and a couple of cameras recording during the event, the most important was the camera facing us, recording our reactions. I've watched them over and over now, and I think that has helped eliminate the melancholy that may otherwise be there. I still can't help but tear up about it. Where's this emotion coming from? I feel humbled to have witnessed it with my family by my side, sharing in the immensity. However, its really hard to describe it to anyone that wasn't there, even with my video in hand.

I saw your skeptical article, and was looking forward to reading your follow-up after witnessing it myself. It was also my family's first eclipse. My son is 4, and will be 26 on the next eclipse. I find the ability to have a known commitment that far out on the calendar to be a helpful reminder of time passing in a truly meaningful chunk. Years can almost feel short sometimes, but when you're talking about marking the passing of 21 years, that's something that really has some gravitas. What will the next eclipse bring and be like?

 

[FizzyLinn]

I agree! My boyfriend had a video camera running during the totality in 2017 and when I've watch it and hear my teary freak out, it brings me back to the moment more than any picture of the eclipse itself. He had a GoPro filming us this last one and I've watched a time lapse of the entire event which was interesting, but I think watching real time of the moment of totality will definitely help bring me back. Thank you!

 

[Wavejumper]

I used to be an eclipse hater, and now I'm not. That's the story.

My formal 2024 solar eclipse apology : Read more

Us people are who impart significance to a natural phenomenon and might understand the statistical rarity of event. But we are also quite interesting... Where I was in Buffalo NY and also in the earlier Corvallis OR, more are interested in the fall towards darkness vs the restoration of light! As soon it started lightening it was a mass exodus to become mired in traffic!

 

[DrRaviSharma]

Monisha
As Cislunar and Mars Space Missions are enacted and also captured more and more even with Robots, you can experience such ecstatic, emotional and sometimes confusing cognitive stages of human mind.
Better experiences in journey into astrophysical phenomena.
In Indian culture there is a saying in relation of reenactment - repeating again -as it happened before (earlier)!
Best W
Ravi
(Dr. Ravi Sharma, Ph.D. USA)
NASA Apollo Achievement Award
ISRO Distinguished Service Awards
Former MTS NASA HQ MSEB Apollo
Former Scientific Secretary ISRO HQ
Ontolog Board of Trustees
Particle and Space Physics
Senior Enterprise Architect
SAE Fuel Cell Tech Committee voting member for 20 years.
http://www.linkedin.com/in/drravisharma

 

[mazamorac]

I used to be an eclipse hater, and now I'm not. That's the story.

My formal 2024 solar eclipse apology : Read more

Welcome to the flock, oh enlightened one.

I unfortunately did not get to leave Seattle to see totality. My gallbladder decided to part ways with me on Sunday just before the eclipse.

My first total eclipse was Mexico City 1991, on the roof of a building overlooking a vale that allowed me to see the moon's shadow zip over us at 2,600 km/hr. It covered the six kms I could see from one end to the other in eight seconds.

That was impressive.

Then I glanced up and my mind melted.

It was generally the same feeling and affected perception as you described your experience. I vividly remember having trouble just turning my gaze skyward for the first few seconds. If you're an sf fan, it was like Larry Niven's description of the window inside the Hindmost's FTL ship in Ringworld. If you're not, read the books, highly recommended.

It was one of those experiences so literally impressive that the inside of my skull probably has an etching of that eclipse's corona. Flashes of it come unbidden every once in a while. Musical rapture does it.

You'd think that I would have become a nomadic umbraphile after my experience. But nope, I was a very young father still going to uni and holding two jobs. I had the inclination, just not the resources nor time.

One and a half divorces later I still haven't gone to watch another total eclipse. But once the half goes through the formalities that make it a second, it's my firm intention to go do it.

2026 in Spain, and if I do it right there may be a chance to hang around for a year to watch the next one in 2027.

I'm considering getting my appendix removed proactively, on the off chance.

Good article, it made me register here just to have the pleasure of gushing at a recent convert. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

 

[spacefolder]

Omg dramatic much, were you cutting yourself while writing this. Geez its just a shadow, it got a little shady for a couple minutes, big whoop, I've seen a few, there will be many more. It's like getting emotional because a bus blocked your view of a car lol. People are so fragile these days, crying forgetting words, pull yourself together out there xD

 

[Stubya]

I used to be an eclipse hater, and now I'm not. That's the story.

My formal 2024 solar eclipse apology : Read more

I also felt my perspective shift in regards to the geometry of the solar system when I viewed the total eclipse of 2017. I was aware of it again this year, but it wasn't as profound. I think the melancholy you and others in this thread are describing is grief. We tend to associate grief with the loss of loved ones, but it is so much bigger than that. I felt it too following the 2017 eclipse, but I was also grieving for the loss of my father a month before which obfuscated the source of my feelings. A few months after the 2017 eclipse I suffered a life-changing injury and have spent a lot of time since then grieving for myself. My injury makes even short trips exhausting and painful but I vowed to experience totality as often as I can manage since 2017. I'm still recovering from my trip from Colorado to Texas, but already planning for Iceland in 2026.

 

[Bumper74]

My first total eclipse was August 2017 in the Nebraska panhandle. We drove 4 hours to the literal middle of nowhere. I remember it being the most amazing thing I’d ever seen. But soon after we got home, I could barely remember what I saw. It got dark, but not totally dark. It was more of an 360 degree twilight. And I recalled seeing Orion. Strangely, I remember it being loud. Almost as if the sun was screaming. But that didn’t happen. My brain was confused and tricking me. I marked April 8, 2024 on my calendar. On the first day that hotels and airlines opened up to take reservations (about a year before), I booked a flight to Dallas and three hotel rooms. My husband and I flew my mother to Dallas. A friend who was there in 2017 also joined us. I was determined to remember was totality was like. I have never seen a video or photograph capture anything close to the actual experience. But, once again, after the April 8th eclipse ended, I found myself forgetting it. I did not hear the loud noise this time. I remember the birds being very loud, but not the sun. I remember seeing red prominences that were not present in 2017. But, by the next day, could not conjure up the feeling of wonder and awe through my memory. I’ve come to accept that the surreal feeling that comes with a total eclipse is something that can only be felt during totality. You can’t take it with you after the shadow passes. It’s a secret that the sun and moon jealously guard and only share every couple of years for a few fleeting minutes with the lucky people along a narrow path. So, I’ll just have to wait until August 2045… or fly around the world chasing the dragon. I have a feeling I’ll be returning to Australia sooner than later.

 

[FizzyLinn]

Omg dramatic much, were you cutting yourself while writing this. Geez its just a shadow, it got a little shady for a couple minutes, big whoop, I've seen a few, there will be many more. It's like getting emotional because a bus blocked your view of a car lol. People are so fragile these days, crying forgetting words, pull yourself together out there xD

This! My boyfriend and I had a conversation the other night that about the different reactions people have witnessing totality. There's a spectrum we're all on with one end being people who view it as "just a shadow" and "scientifically interesting" and on the other are those of us weeping and becoming overwhelmed with emotion. Most people are probably in the middle or tending towards one side. The people close to the extreme ends of the spectrum seem to view those on the other ends negatively.

My boyfriend (on one end) thinks my freak out is confusing and a sign of some kind of weakness. On the other end, I think his lack of emotional response is him missing out on something wonderful. I told him it was like trying to explain what love is to someone who has never experienced it. I think it comes down to just being respectful of our different perspectives. And for the next one, appreciating him dealing with all his gear and camera setups, trying to get amazing photos (he did!) while I just stand there to gawk and cry.