Mars Rover Beginning To Hate Mars

[mithridates]

Mars Rover Beginning To Hate Mars<br />Unmanned Vehicle 'Bored Out Of Its Mind'<br /><br />October 24, 2006 | Issue 42•43 <br /><br />ASADENA, CA—NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory scientists overseeing the ongoing Mars Exploration Rover Mission said Monday that the Spirit's latest transmissions could indicate a growing resentment of the Red Planet.<br /><br />"Spirit has been displaying some anomalous behavior," said Project Manager John Callas, who noted the rover's unsuccessful attempts to flip itself over and otherwise damage its scientific instruments. "And the thousand or so daily messages of 'STILL NO WATER' really point to a crisis of purpose."<br /><br />The "robot geologist," as NASA describes Spirit, has been operating independently for over 990 Martian sols—nearly the equivalent of three Earth years. However, scientists estimate that, in recent weeks, Spirit has been functioning on the level of a rover who has been on Mars for approximately 6,160 sols.<br /><br />According to Callas, Spirit was operating normally until the onset of the Martian winter, whose shorter days and frigid temperatures typically mean a slower pace for exploratory rovers. "We began getting the occasional transmission along the lines of 'ANOTHER SOIL SAMPLE OF THE EXACT SAME COMPOSITION AS THE LAST ONE,'" Callas said. "Most of the time, she'd power down and not transmit much of anything, which, at the time, didn't particularly concern us."<br /><br />But as the winter lingered, Spirit began producing thousands of pages of sometimes rambling and dubious data, ranging from complaints that the Martian surface was made up almost entirely of the same basalt, to long-winded rants questioning the exorbitant cost and scientific relevance of the mission. <br /><br />"Granted, Spirit has been extraordinarily useful to our work," Callas said. "Last week, however, we received three straight days of images of the same rock with the message 'HAPPY NOW?'"<br /><br />Mission Project Scientist Bruce Banerdt said that S <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p>----- </p><p>http://mithridates.blogspot.com</p> </div>

 

[lunatic133]

LOL that's a good one <img src="/images/icons/smile.gif" />

 

[vogon13]

The last time mission controk tried to get a sample analyzed, Spirit radioed back:<br /><br />"It's a rock! Just like all the other farking rocks around here, leave me alone!"<br /><br /><br /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><font color="#ff0000"><strong>TPTB went to Dallas and all I got was Plucked !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#339966"><strong>So many people, so few recipes !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#0000ff"><strong>Let's clean up this stinkhole !!</strong></font> </p> </div>

 

[lunatic133]

Hmmm I seem to remember that sprit was more the emo kid, and opportunity was a light hearted bimbo-type, according to the mars rovers blog (which sadly I no longer have the link to)

 

[blazincajun]

LOL <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> </div>

 

[summoner]

Lol, very nice. Iwas just about to get pizzed and write a rant about some idiot reporter, until I saw the source. <img src="/images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> <br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width:271px;background-color:#FFF;border:1pxsolid#999"><tr><td colspan="2"><div style="height:35px"><img src="http://banners.wunderground.com/weathersticker/htmlSticker1/language/www/US/MT/Three_Forks.gif" alt="" height="35" width="271" style="border:0px" /></div>

 

[krisci3]

As long as it doesn't say "I'm sorry but I can't do that NASA..."

 

[askold]

A parody in The Onion is like getting mentioned in a Jay Leno monologue - it means you're relevant. The Onion hasn't done a parody article on the shuttle since 1996.

 

[barrykirk]

Well, I know for a fact that KSC does.

 

[superluminal]

I really enjoyed that.<br /><br />Re <br />________________________________________________<br /><br />NASA remains optimistic that the rover will remain at least partially operational for the foreseeable future. However, because of the Spirit's recent proclivity toward ramming into boulders at full speed, scientists have remotely disabled its 1.5-pound rock-abrasion tool so the rover is unable to terminate the mission prematurely. <br />________________________________________________<br /><br />The being on the right, that's holding the sign, sent me an arrogant anonymous light speed email babbling incoherent curse words in alien chatter, while pointing towards the rock abrasion tool and smirking while rubbing its butt, <br />( ouch that dang thing snuck up behind me yestersol and activated its propeller. <br /><br /> No that was not a boulder you Earth Idiots. <br /><br />It was my posterior.<br /><br /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><br /><strong><font size="3" color="#3366ff">Columbia and Challenger </font></strong></p><p><strong><font size="3" color="#3366ff">Starships of Heroes</font></strong></p> </div>

 

[billslugg]

My most frequently encountered conversation in third world countries:<br />"Yanqui go home."<br />"We hate de Bush."<br />"Down wit D A merica."<br />"Can you sponsor me for visa." <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p> </p><p> </p> </div>

 

[bdewoody]

Yeah they hate us so much we have to put up a fence to keep them out. <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <em><font size="2">Bob DeWoody</font></em> </div>