NORAD Tracks Santa

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planet_z

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No one will be tracking Santa if he doesn't get his flu shot!<br /><br /><br />AP-Santa-Flu<br /><br />Santa denied flu shot<br /><br /> DENVER (AP) - When it comes to the flu vaccine, there's<br />apparently no special clause that covers Santa Claus.<br /> A man who plays Santa Claus at shopping malls was denied a flu<br />shot at a Colorado clinic because he isn't 65 or suffering from a<br />chronic health problem.<br /> Nick Palloto says he gets a flu shot every year because he has<br />so much contact with children.<br /> But because of the nationwide shortage of flu vaccine, federal<br />health officials say only people at high risk should get the shots<br />-- such as hospital workers, people with chronic conditions and<br />those over 65.<br /> Palloto is 62.<br /> A hospital spokeswoman says the rules couldn't be broken for<br />Santa.<br /> But now a retirement home is offering to give Palloto one of its<br />leftover vaccines. He'll get his shot Tuesday.<br /><br /> <br /> (Copyright 2004 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)<br /> <br />AP-NY-11-06-04 1519EST<br />
 
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pizzaguy

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<font color="yellow">No one will be tracking Santa if he doesn't get his flu shot!<br /></font><br /><br />Who says he is old? Who says his health is poor? <br />The number of us threatened by the flu is very few.<br /><br />Ill get a flu shot ONLY AFTER I have had a severe bout with the flu. <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font size="1"><em>Note to Dr. Henry:  The testosterone shots are working!</em></font> </div>
 
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vogon13

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My Patriot battery is on full alert !<br /><br /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><font color="#ff0000"><strong>TPTB went to Dallas and all I got was Plucked !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#339966"><strong>So many people, so few recipes !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#0000ff"><strong>Let's clean up this stinkhole !!</strong></font> </p> </div>
 
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earth_bound_misfit

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Good to see you don't use Scuds <img src="/images/icons/wink.gif" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p> </p><p> </p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------- </p><p>Wanna see this site looking like the old SDC uplink?</p><p>Go here to see how: <strong>SDC Eye saver </strong>  </p> </div>
 
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erioladastra

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Well considering there is little to no evidence that the Patriots hit anything (maybe, maybe one) in the first gulf war, I think Santa is pretty safe either way! :O
 
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vogon13

Guest
Enhanced radiation warheads take care of the near miss problem.<br /><br />Hell, if Santa flies overhead, a detonation on the launcher truck would get him.<br /><br /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><font color="#ff0000"><strong>TPTB went to Dallas and all I got was Plucked !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#339966"><strong>So many people, so few recipes !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#0000ff"><strong>Let's clean up this stinkhole !!</strong></font> </p> </div>
 
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drwayne

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Come on folks, you think any weapon system we have can truelly track and engage a target moving as fast as Santa does????<br /><br />Give me a BREAK!<br /><br /><img src="/images/icons/wink.gif" /><br /><br />Wayne <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p>"1) Give no quarter; 2) Take no prisoners; 3) Sink everything."  Admiral Jackie Fisher</p> </div>
 
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vogon13

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His damn reindeer ain't relativistic !<br /><br /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><font color="#ff0000"><strong>TPTB went to Dallas and all I got was Plucked !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#339966"><strong>So many people, so few recipes !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#0000ff"><strong>Let's clean up this stinkhole !!</strong></font> </p> </div>
 
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drwayne

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That site brought great joy to my little boy by the way.<br /><br />Wayne <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p>"1) Give no quarter; 2) Take no prisoners; 3) Sink everything."  Admiral Jackie Fisher</p> </div>
 
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drwayne

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They are warp capable my friend.<br /><br /><img src="/images/icons/wink.gif" /><br /><br />Wayne <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p>"1) Give no quarter; 2) Take no prisoners; 3) Sink everything."  Admiral Jackie Fisher</p> </div>
 
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telfrow

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I had it on the computer at the house last year when the grand children and the family came over. It was a great hit. The kids loved it. <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <strong><font color="#3366ff">Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find and not to yeild.</font> - <font color="#3366ff"><em>Tennyson</em></font></strong> </div>
 
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vogon13

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They don't even go 1000 MPH, the sonic booms would break the church windows!<br /><br /> <br /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><font color="#ff0000"><strong>TPTB went to Dallas and all I got was Plucked !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#339966"><strong>So many people, so few recipes !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#0000ff"><strong>Let's clean up this stinkhole !!</strong></font> </p> </div>
 
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vogon13

Guest
{pretty grotesque talking about zapping Santa, bet I get dead spiders in my sock again}<br /><br /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><font color="#ff0000"><strong>TPTB went to Dallas and all I got was Plucked !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#339966"><strong>So many people, so few recipes !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#0000ff"><strong>Let's clean up this stinkhole !!</strong></font> </p> </div>
 
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drwayne

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Warp driven reindeer, combined with metaphasic shielding. The ultimate cloaking device. It's like he was never there.<br /><br />Wayne <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p>"1) Give no quarter; 2) Take no prisoners; 3) Sink everything."  Admiral Jackie Fisher</p> </div>
 
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tohaki

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He is Byzantine, so the easiest way to get him is with red tape... <img src="/images/icons/wink.gif" />
 
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erauskydiver

Guest
http://attrition.org/misc/humor/xmas-proof.html<br /><br />As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research <br /> help from that renowned scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990) <br /> --here is the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.<br /> <br /> 1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species <br /> of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are <br /> insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer <br /> which only Santa has ever seen.<br /> <br /> 2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT <br /> since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and <br /> Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 <br /> million according to the Population Reference Reference Bureau. At an<br /> average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million <br /> homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.<br /> <br /> 3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different <br /> time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west <br /> (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is <br /> to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has<br /> 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, <br /> fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat <br /> whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the <br /> sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8<br /> millions stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, <br /> we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will<br /> accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of <br /> 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops
 
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drwayne

Guest
Oh ye of little faith!<br /><br />Dear Editor,<br /><br />I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?<br /><br />Virginia O'Hanlon<br /><br /><br />Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge. <br /><br />Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. <br /><br />Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. <br /><br />You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes t <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p>"1) Give no quarter; 2) Take no prisoners; 3) Sink everything."  Admiral Jackie Fisher</p> </div>
 
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lampblack

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<font color="yellow">They don't even go 1000 MPH, the sonic booms would break the church windows!</font><br /><br />Ya don't get sonic booms with reindeer. They actually arrive at Point B before they ever leave Point A -- thus avoiding the sonic boom issue entirely.<br /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font color="#0000ff"><strong>Just tell the truth and let the chips fall...</strong></font> </div>
 
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vogon13

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Then the gamma ray flash from their hyper-relativistic flight will fission the heavy metal elements used to color the stained glass church windows.<br /><br /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><font color="#ff0000"><strong>TPTB went to Dallas and all I got was Plucked !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#339966"><strong>So many people, so few recipes !!</strong></font></p><p><font color="#0000ff"><strong>Let's clean up this stinkhole !!</strong></font> </p> </div>
 
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