Post your funniest jokes/videos!!

star_sirius · May 8, 2008

<img src="http://i26.tinypic.com/2uh3kg1.jpg" border="0" alt="" />I think first Carbon Neutral state is Vatican! <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

starsinmyeyes44 · May 9, 2008

<h3 class="title">Another Chinese Toy Recalled</h3>www.grouchyoldcripple.com/archives/chitoy.jpg" alt="chitoy.jpg" width="360" height="505" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back. Charlie Brown </div>

star_sirius · May 10, 2008

Replying to: <DIV CLASS='Discussion_PostQuote'>Another Chinese Toy Recalledwww.grouchyoldcripple.com/archives/chitoy.jpg" alt="chitoy.jpg" width="360" height="505" /> Posted by starsinmyeyes44</DIV>Hey that's very good, ouch my butt!!! In fact we have two of 'em at home, we use 'em for: :

<img src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/0/10/b0b63624-d0cb-42a8-aaf5-30211a872953.Medium.gif" alt="" />   <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · May 10, 2008

<img src="http://i30.tinypic.com/2nkjvup.jpg" border="0" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · May 11, 2008

One morning, the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and begins to read her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?'). 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing; I'm reading.' 'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'For reading a book?' she replies. 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing; I'm reading.' 'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden. 'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.' 'Have a nice day Ma'am,' and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads - it's likely she can also think.. <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · May 11, 2008

<img src="http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c20/RAKinNZ/beer.jpg" border="0" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

cosmictraveler · May 14, 2008

Dear Technical Support:    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that  the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of  space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into  all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.  Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing  7.5, and Golf 3.6 were also affected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the  background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking  about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife  1.0. Please help!    Thanks,    Troubled User.....  _____________________________________    REPLY:    Dear Troubled User:    This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade  from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and  Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by  its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0  and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the  program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girl-  friend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife  1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep  Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the back-  ground application 'Yes Dear' to alleviate software augmentation. The best  course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE! because ultimately  you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to  normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high  maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and  Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you  use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program  Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of  Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and  Diamonds 5.0!    WARNING!!!  DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.  This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible  damage to the operating system and can delete all bank account information!     <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> It does not require many words to speak the truth. Chief Joseph </div>

doublehelix · May 14, 2008

Replying to: <DIV CLASS='Discussion_PostQuote'>   Posted by star_sirius</DIV>I refuse to out the mod in the tutu.  And you got a real good shot of me dancing over there on the right, though!  <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />-dh  <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> doublehelix, Community Manager Imaginova </div>

cosmictraveler · May 15, 2008

Their sons These 4 pals go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee. "My son BIll," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift." The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "George is so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift." The third man's son, Albert, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift. As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in. "To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Frank's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."   <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> It does not require many words to speak the truth. Chief Joseph </div>

star_sirius · May 15, 2008

Replying to: <DIV CLASS='Discussion_PostQuote'>I refuse to out the mod in the tutu.  And you got a real good shot of me dancing over there on the right, though!  -dh  Posted by doublehelix</DIV> The mods haven't banned anybody since the great purge!! So are we behaving, or y'all got softened up? Ouch! The gif needs impending age and hip replacements? In fact it's pro-mod theme ..to celebrate groovy jobs you guys have done to these boards.. you have pretty nice moves though!<img src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · May 15, 2008

Replying to: <DIV CLASS='Discussion_PostQuote'> T Posted by cosmictraveler</DIV>Here is almost as funny as watching Moari trying to talk and act like African Americans... Hello - EAH SUP BRO Good on you - CHUR MEAN MAORI MEAN I'll take you out for dinner - FISH AND CHIPS FOR TEA AYE? I have no money - FAR WINZ CUT MY BENI OFF Yes - YEAH BRO No - NAH BRO No I didn't - EAH NOT EVEN OW Food - KAI Who's that girl - **** SHE'S NICE BRO Who's that guy - **** I'D TAP THAT Where are you - CUZ WHERE YOU AT Grocery shopping - GETTING A BREAD AND A BUTTER Bye - I GOTTA CRUISE BRO..LATERZ What you doing - WHAT UP OW Your lying - ALL TEKO OW Thank you - SHOT BRO Are you allright - GET HARD BOY Want some help - YEAH IN A MINUTE BRO We better go - LETS BOUNCE GEE I'm hungry - MUM MAKE ME A FEED Should we go to the bedroom - IS THAT US AYE <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · May 15, 2008

<img src="http://i28.tinypic.com/ab14x2.jpg" border="0" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · May 15, 2008

<img src="http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k116/Maioro_Barton/PiggyBank.jpg" border="0" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · May 15, 2008

<img src="http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a229/lbate/2viin4o_th.gif" border="0" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · May 17, 2008

This guy is: <img src="http://i186.photobucket.com/albums/x237/gonzala_2007/Run.jpg" border="0" alt="" /> (a) Running across the border (b) Making his getaway from a filling station robbery (c) Dodging an angry farmer's bullets (d) Midway through a gum boot dance        Nope, none of the above....   Scroll Down......                 . . . . ./ .. . . . ./ /. . . . . . / /. . . . . . . . <img src="http://i186.photobucket.com/albums/x237/gonzala_2007/HippoChase.jpg" border="0" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · May 17, 2008

<img src="http://i32.tinypic.com/2dt3joj.gif" border="0" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

Boris_Badenov · May 20, 2008

four good commercialshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx79D1Imc1U <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <div align="center">. </div><div align="center">Never roll in the mud with a pig. You'll both get dirty & the pig likes it.</div> </div>

neuvik · May 20, 2008

I always liked this image.  <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/1/3/712bc31d-c457-4d85-b32c-13c851d1a0ce.Medium.jpg" alt="" />   <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> I don't think I'm alone when I say, "I hope more planets fall under the ruthless domination of Earth!"SDC Boards: Power by PLuck - Ph**king Luck </div>

star_sirius · May 22, 2008

<img src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cry.gif" border="0" alt="Cry" title="Cry" /><img src="http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm263/shell157/Petrolprices-8.jpg" alt="" width="504" height="327" /> <img src="http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm263/shell157/Petrolprices-11.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="445" /> <img src="http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm263/shell157/Petrolprices-10.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="439" /> <img src="http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm263/shell157/Petrolprices-7.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="444" /> <img src="http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm263/shell157/Petrolprices-6.jpg" alt="" /> <img src="http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm263/shell157/Petrolprices-5.jpg" alt="" /> <img src="http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm263/shell157/Petrolprices-4.jpg" alt="" /> <img src="http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm263/shell157/Petrolprices-2.jpg" alt="" /> <img src="http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm263/shell157/Petrolprices-1.jpg" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · May 22, 2008

<img src="http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p303/Nenee62/untitled.jpg" border="0" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

vladdrac · May 22, 2008

Why not just go back over the recent 'conservative' posters contributions?<img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> </div>

Boris_Badenov · May 24, 2008

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." Yes, she says, "I remember it well." OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" "Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks," I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age t hat he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, "This is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is." So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, can I see some ID and I before I taser both of you that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?" Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago, that wasn't an electric fence." <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <div align="center">. </div><div align="center">Never roll in the mud with a pig. You'll both get dirty & the pig likes it.</div> </div>

star_sirius · May 28, 2008

<img src="http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c20/RAKinNZ/xmas.jpg" border="0" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · May 28, 2008

The last argument O.K. Honey! We're here! You can come out now. <img src="http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c20/RAKinNZ/parked.jpg" border="0" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · May 28, 2008

Psychopath Test Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has got it right. A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her dream guy so much, that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister. Question: What is her motive for killing her sister? [Give this some thought before you answer, see answer below]                                                     Answer: She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again. If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you. <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

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