Post your funniest jokes/videos!!

star_sirius · Aug 8, 2008

<img src="http://newmedia.funnyjunk.com/pictures/buttweiserbuttinpic.jpg" border="0" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

a_lost_packet_ · Aug 8, 2008

<img src="http://img527.imageshack.us/img527/5525/sdcfailcopyiz2.jpg" border="0" alt="Image Hosted by ImageShack.us" /> <img src="http://img527.imageshack.us/img527/5525/sdcfailcopyiz2.0d9766e613.jpg" border="0" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> I put on my robe and wizard hat... </div>

starsinmyeyes44 · Aug 9, 2008

<div>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KERwnA8VfFM</div><div>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqS7fCmsmLY&feature=related</div><div>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHV-oV50AbQ&feature=related</div><div>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMtgfsg5tME&feature=related</div><div>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMtgfsg5tME&feature=related</div><div>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnN17uJQUbc&feature=related</div> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back. Charlie Brown </div>

docm · Aug 10, 2008

A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'. 'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?' The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.' The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.' He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it. 'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... So what's the other possible good news? 'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again! <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> </div>

star_sirius · Aug 10, 2008

Replying to: <DIV CLASS='Discussion_PostQuote'> Posted by docm</DIV>Poor woman, still funny!Enjoying the Olympics yet? <img id="fullImage" src="http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f357/bhantiarna/comic0002.png" alt="comic0002.png Olympics image by bhantiarna" />  <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

starsinmyeyes44 · Aug 11, 2008

This card made me laugh!  On the front: So, anyway, I'm standing in line to buy you a freakin' birthday card and the line is like seventeen billion people long 'cause the only thing the dumb teenage boy at the register in thinking about is the dumb teenage girl at the other register, and some dumb lady is turning her purse inside out to come up with "exact change", like she's gonna win some kind of "exact change trophy" or something, and some idiot starts up with his "This item was marked with the sale price" crap, and I just really hope you like this card... (on the inside)'Cause I STOLE it.  <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back. Charlie Brown </div>

star_sirius · Aug 12, 2008

<img src="http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm42/Maximus_Manley/GENERALDIRECTIONrevised.jpg" border="0" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

a_lost_packet_ · Aug 12, 2008

Replying to: <DIV CLASS='Discussion_PostQuote'> Posted by star_sirius</DIV>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysLJeveElZo   <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> I put on my robe and wizard hat... </div>

StrandedonEarthsince1970 · Aug 12, 2008

Replying to: <DIV CLASS='Discussion_PostQuote'>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysLJeveElZo  Posted by a_lost_packet_</DIV>Rofl! Canadian Deer Hunter:  <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/2/6/f25b5f0d-05ab-498f-8606-d9b89112feaf.Medium.jpg" alt="" />   <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> Now where on Earth did I park my UFO? </div>

star_sirius · Aug 12, 2008

This may be fake too but but but it's.....still funny! Blawhahahaha! <img src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/15/15/8f2ec392-4c0b-4a02-9fbc-c2e749ad36a2.Medium.jpg" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · Aug 16, 2008

CLICK on ME <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

cosmictraveler · Aug 18, 2008

There are two nice bachelor brothers who live with their mother, Jim and Bob. A business trip took Bob out of town for a few days but he promised to call home on a regular basis to find out how things are going.As good as his word, Bob called home the next day and Jim answered the phone. Bob asked, "So how's everything going?" Jim replied, "The cat's dead. He fell out the window."Bob was furious at the way his brother responded to his question and told him the bad news in such a callous manner. He told Jim his feelings in no uncertain terms.Jim asked, "So how would you have liked me to respond?"Bob went on, "First you could have told me that you accidentally left the window open. Then the cat jumped out of the window and landed on the small roof below. We called the emergency response team, who tried for nearly and hour to coax the cat back into the house all the while trying to reach him by ladder from the outside. In spite of everyone's efforts, the cat lost his footing fell off the roof and died from his injuries."Jim responded, "Oh. I see..."Bob then asked Jim, "So how's Mom?"Jim said, "Well, I accidentally left the window open and the cat got out. Mom went out the window onto the small roof to try to get the cat."    <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> It does not require many words to speak the truth. Chief Joseph </div>

star_sirius · Aug 21, 2008

Three Kiwis and three Aussies are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Aussies each buy tickets and watch as the three Kiwis buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an Aussie. "Watch and you'll see," answers a Kiwi. They all board the train. The Aussies take their respective seats but all three Kiwis cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says,"Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Aussies see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Aussies decide to copy the Kiwis on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money,and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Kiwis don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Aussie. Watch and you'll see," answers a kiwi. When they board the train the three Aussies cram into a bathroom and the three Kiwis cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Kiwis leaves his bathroom and walks over to the bathroom where the Aussies are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please." <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · Aug 28, 2008

<img src="http://www.hahastop.com/pictures/Delicious_Meat_For_Sale.jpg" border="0" alt="Funny Pictures" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · Aug 28, 2008

<img src="http://www.hahastop.com/pictures/No_Farting_Here.jpg" border="0" alt="Funny Pictures" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · Aug 29, 2008

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.' Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???' She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'  <img src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

Boris_Badenov · Aug 31, 2008

Bump <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <div align="center">. </div><div align="center">Never roll in the mud with a pig. You'll both get dirty & the pig likes it.</div> </div>

thor06 · Sep 1, 2008

Ok, I was called pal in a discussion, made me think of the south park episode "I'm not your friend, buddy".  What I found was even more funny. That led to these: Will Ferrell as Bush Will Ferrell as Dubya on Global Warming LETTERMAN 'TOP TEN GEORGE W. BUSH MOMENTS' CORRESPONDENTS' D      <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> www.watchnasatv.com ONE PERCENT FOR NASA! </div>

thor06 · Sep 1, 2008

tranlation fail....warning language   <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/4/6/d4ebc060-a79a-4705-b67e-a618918435a1.Medium.jpg" alt="" /> <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/2/4/5255a885-9535-418e-945d-ed40a4f445ae.Medium.jpg" alt="" />   <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> www.watchnasatv.com ONE PERCENT FOR NASA! </div>

star_sirius · Sep 1, 2008

www.geonet.org.nz/images/whiteis.jpg" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · Sep 27, 2008

<img src="http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y299/briancol/LondonTubeadvert1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /> Bloody darn straight i reckon!!! <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

star_sirius · Sep 27, 2008

Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in California . They hired him because he was funny..... NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard) SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment . MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?' HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. DO YOU SMOKE?: on the job - no! on my breaks - yes! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FI VE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely. <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific. <img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /> </div>

thor06 · Oct 9, 2008

I found this gem last night!<h1>How to Make Money Now That The Economy's Crapped the Bed</h1>#12 from the link above: <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/0/14/70fba73c-3a25-47ae-bef6-7ca4bcf8c4c1.Medium.jpg" alt="" />    a few new shipments of fail, I'll post a couple of my favs.   <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/6/8/4683db4b-277d-4f43-a8bd-a03e0b9da791.Medium.jpg" alt="" />  <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/15/9/4fbfb091-721d-4a3a-8900-8506d1c407d9.Medium.jpg" alt="" />   <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> www.watchnasatv.com ONE PERCENT FOR NASA! </div>

starsinmyeyes44 · Oct 10, 2008

www.coloradospringsrealestateconnection.com/wp-content/uploads/blogs/derekwagner/Publication1_1.jpg" alt="Foreclosure Homes in Colorado Springs this Halloween" width="448" height="314" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back. Charlie Brown </div>

R1 · Oct 12, 2008

And now the news updatehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=553aPCXAAbE   <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> </div>

Post your funniest jokes/videos!!

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