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star_sirius

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<p><img src="http://newmedia.funnyjunk.com/pictures/buttweiserbuttinpic.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></p> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font size="0" color="#10bdee"><strong>A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific.</strong></font><p><br /><img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /></p> </div>
 
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starsinmyeyes44

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<br /><br /><font face="Arial Black" size="3" color="#0000ff">&nbsp;</font> <div>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KERwnA8VfFM</div><div>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqS7fCmsmLY&feature=related</div><div>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHV-oV50AbQ&feature=related</div><div>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMtgfsg5tME&feature=related</div><div>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMtgfsg5tME&feature=related</div><div>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnN17uJQUbc&feature=related</div> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><font color="#ff00ff">In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.<br /></font><strong>Charlie Brown</strong></p> </div>
 
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docm

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<p>A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. </p><p>Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.<br /> <br /> 'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?'<br /> <br /> The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.'<br /> <br /> The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is.<br /> <br /> The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.'<br /> <br /> He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.<br /> <br /> 'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... So what's the other possible good news?<br /> <br /> 'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!</p> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> </div>
 
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star_sirius

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<p><BR/>Replying to:<BR/><DIV CLASS='Discussion_PostQuote'> Posted by docm</DIV></p><p>Poor woman, still funny!</p><span class="cb1head"><strong>Enjoying the Olympics yet?</strong></span><p> <img id="fullImage" src="http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f357/bhantiarna/comic0002.png" alt="comic0002.png Olympics image by bhantiarna" />&nbsp; </p> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font size="0" color="#10bdee"><strong>A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific.</strong></font><p><br /><img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /></p> </div>
 
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starsinmyeyes44

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<p>&nbsp;</p><p><font size="2" color="#0000ff">&nbsp;This card made me laugh!</font></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><font size="2" color="#0000ff">On the front:</font></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><font size="2" color="#0000ff">So, anyway, I'm standing in line to buy you a freakin' birthday card and the line is like seventeen billion people long 'cause the only thing the dumb teenage boy at the register in thinking about is the dumb teenage girl at the other register, and some dumb lady is turning her purse inside out to come up with "exact change", like she's gonna win some kind of "exact change trophy" or something, and some idiot starts up with his "This item was marked with the sale price" crap, and I just really hope you like this card...</font></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><font size="2" color="#0000ff">(on the inside)</font></p><p><font size="2" color="#0000ff">'Cause I STOLE it.</font></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><br /></p> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><font color="#ff00ff">In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.<br /></font><strong>Charlie Brown</strong></p> </div>
 
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star_sirius

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<p><img src="http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm42/Maximus_Manley/GENERALDIRECTIONrevised.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></p> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font size="0" color="#10bdee"><strong>A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific.</strong></font><p><br /><img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /></p> </div>
 
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a_lost_packet_

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<p><BR/>Replying to:<BR/><DIV CLASS='Discussion_PostQuote'> Posted by star_sirius</DIV></p><p>:)</p><p>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysLJeveElZo</p><br /><p>&nbsp;</p> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font size="1">I put on my robe and wizard hat...</font> </div>
 
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StrandedonEarthsince1970

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<p><BR/>Replying to:<BR/><DIV CLASS='Discussion_PostQuote'>:)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysLJeveElZo&nbsp; <br /> Posted by a_lost_packet_</DIV></p><p>Rofl!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Canadian Deer Hunter:</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><br /> <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/2/6/f25b5f0d-05ab-498f-8606-d9b89112feaf.Medium.jpg" alt="" /><br />&nbsp;</p> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p> </p><p><em><strong>Now where on Earth did I park my UFO?</strong></em></p> </div>
 
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star_sirius

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This may be fake too but but but it's.....still funny! Blawhahahaha!<br /> <img src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/15/15/8f2ec392-4c0b-4a02-9fbc-c2e749ad36a2.Medium.jpg" alt="" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font size="0" color="#10bdee"><strong>A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific.</strong></font><p><br /><img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /></p> </div>
 
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star_sirius

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CLICK on ME <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font size="0" color="#10bdee"><strong>A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific.</strong></font><p><br /><img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /></p> </div>
 
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cosmictraveler

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<p style="margin:5px5px10px" align="justify">There are two nice bachelor brothers who live with their mother, Jim and Bob. A business trip took Bob out of town for a few days but he promised to call home on a regular basis to find out how things are going.</p><p style="margin:5px5px10px" align="justify">As good as his word, Bob called home the next day and Jim answered the phone. Bob asked, "So how's everything going?"<br /><br />Jim replied, "The cat's dead. He fell out the window."</p><p style="margin:5px5px10px" align="justify">Bob was furious at the way his brother responded to his question and told him the bad news in such a callous manner. He told Jim his feelings in no uncertain terms.</p><p style="margin:5px5px10px" align="justify">Jim asked, "So how would you have liked me to respond?"Bob went on, "First you could have told me that you accidentally left the window open. Then the cat jumped out of the window and landed on the small roof below. We called the emergency response team, who tried for nearly and hour to coax the cat back into the house all the while trying to reach him by ladder from the outside. In spite of everyone's efforts, the cat lost his footing fell off the roof and died from his injuries."</p><p style="margin:5px5px10px" align="justify">Jim responded, "Oh. I see..."</p><p style="margin:5px5px10px" align="justify">Bob then asked Jim, "So how's Mom?"</p><p style="margin:5px5px10px" align="justify">Jim said, "Well, I accidentally left the window open and the cat got out. Mom went out the window onto the small roof to try to get the cat." </p><p style="margin:5px5px10px" align="justify">&nbsp;</p><p style="margin:5px5px10px" align="justify">&nbsp;</p> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p>It does not require many words to speak the truth. Chief Joseph</p> </div>
 
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star_sirius

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Three Kiwis and three Aussies are traveling by train to a conference.<br /> At the station, the three Aussies each buy tickets and watch as the<br /> three<br /> Kiwis buy only a single ticket.<br /> <br /> "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an<br /> Aussie.<br /> <br /> "Watch and you'll see," answers a Kiwi.<br /> <br /> They all board the train. The Aussies take their respective seats but<br /> all three Kiwis cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them.<br /> Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around<br /> collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says,"Ticket,<br /> please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a<br /> ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.<br /> <br /> The Aussies see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the<br /> conference, the Aussies decide to copy the Kiwis on the return trip<br /> and save some money (being clever with money,and all that). When they<br /> get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip.<br /> <br /> To their astonishment, the Kiwis don't buy a ticket at all. "How are<br /> you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Aussie.<br /> <br /> Watch and you'll see," answers a kiwi.<br /> <br /> When they board the train the three Aussies cram into a bathroom and<br /> the three Kiwis cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly<br /> <br /> afterward, one of the Kiwis leaves his bathroom and walks over to the<br /> bathroom where the Aussies are hiding.<br /> <br /> He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please." <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font size="0" color="#10bdee"><strong>A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific.</strong></font><p><br /><img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /></p> </div>
 
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star_sirius

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star_sirius

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star_sirius

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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at<br /> him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place<br /> where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she<br /> replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'<br /> <br /> Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful<br /> to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that<br /> I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your<br /> partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'<br /> <br /> <br /> She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'&nbsp; <img src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font size="0" color="#10bdee"><strong>A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific.</strong></font><p><br /><img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /></p> </div>
 
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Boris_Badenov

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<font size="2">Bump</font> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font color="#993300"><span class="body"><font size="2" color="#3366ff"><div align="center">. </div><div align="center">Never roll in the mud with a pig. You'll both get dirty & the pig likes it.</div></font></span></font> </div>
 
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thor06

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<br /><p>Ok, I was called pal in a discussion, made me think of the south park episode "I'm not your friend, buddy".&nbsp; What I found was even more funny.&nbsp;</p><p>That led to these:&nbsp;</p><p>Will Ferrell as Bush </p><p>Will Ferrell as Dubya on Global Warming </p><p>LETTERMAN 'TOP TEN GEORGE W. BUSH MOMENTS' CORRESPONDENTS' D </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p> </p><p> <font color="#0000ff">                           www.watchnasatv.com</font></p><p>                          ONE PERCENT FOR NASA! </p> </div>
 
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thor06

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<p><br /> tranlation fail....warning language<br /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><br /> <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/4/6/d4ebc060-a79a-4705-b67e-a618918435a1.Medium.jpg" alt="" /></p><p><br /> <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/2/4/5255a885-9535-418e-945d-ed40a4f445ae.Medium.jpg" alt="" /><br />&nbsp;</p> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p> </p><p> <font color="#0000ff">                           www.watchnasatv.com</font></p><p>                          ONE PERCENT FOR NASA! </p> </div>
 
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star_sirius

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<p><br /></p><p>www.geonet.org.nz/images/whiteis.jpg" alt="" /> </p> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font size="0" color="#10bdee"><strong>A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific.</strong></font><p><br /><img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /></p> </div>
 
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star_sirius

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<img src="http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y299/briancol/LondonTubeadvert1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /><br /> <br /> <br /> Bloody darn straight i reckon!!! <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font size="0" color="#10bdee"><strong>A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific.</strong></font><p><br /><img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /></p> </div>
 
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star_sirius

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Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in<br /> California . They hired him because he was funny.....<br /> <br /> NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)<br /> SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who<br /> will cooperate)<br /> DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously,<br /> whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be<br /> applying here in the first place<br /> DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz<br /> style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can<br /> haggle.<br /> EDUCATION: Yes.<br /> LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.<br /> PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.<br /> MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and<br /> post-it notes.<br /> REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.<br /> HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.<br /> PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.<br /> DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more<br /> intimate environment .<br /> MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be<br /> here?<br /> DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU<br /> FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?<br /> DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be<br /> 'Do you have a car that runs?'<br /> HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may<br /> already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they<br /> tell me.<br /> DO YOU SMOKE?: on the job - no! on my breaks - yes!<br /> WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FI VE YEARS?:<br /> Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde<br /> supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually,<br /> I'd like to be doing that now.<br /> NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles<br /> DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST<br /> OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely. <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <font size="0" color="#10bdee"><strong>A dazzling bluish luminosity from A distant south pacific.</strong></font><p><br /><img id="cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c" src="http://sitelife.livescience.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/11/15/cb51e87e-8221-424c-8ff2-78c95122196c.Large.jpg" alt="blog post photo" /></p> </div>
 
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thor06

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<p>&nbsp;I found this gem last night!</p><h1>How to Make Money Now That The Economy's Crapped the Bed</h1><p>#12 from the link above:</p><p><br /> <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/0/14/70fba73c-3a25-47ae-bef6-7ca4bcf8c4c1.Medium.jpg" alt="" /><br />&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><font size="3"><strong>a few new shipments of fail, I'll post a couple of my favs.</strong></font> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><br /> <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/6/8/4683db4b-277d-4f43-a8bd-a03e0b9da791.Medium.jpg" alt="" /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><br /> <img src="http://sitelife.space.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/15/9/4fbfb091-721d-4a3a-8900-8506d1c407d9.Medium.jpg" alt="" /><br />&nbsp;</p> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p> </p><p> <font color="#0000ff">                           www.watchnasatv.com</font></p><p>                          ONE PERCENT FOR NASA! </p> </div>
 
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