The Dorkest or lamest Space Movie ever!

[specfiction]

Mission to Mars:<br /><br />There were no martians left on Mars, just like there may be no one left on Earth at some point when someone comes calling. I wonder how many unintentional booby-traps they might encounter?<br /><br />The guy left stranded was an American.<br /><br />When we landed on the Moon, we raised a flag... When we land on Mars we'll do the same thing.<br /><br />Acting, sound, effects, plot--I guess a matter of taste. I especially like that the martians seeded Earth. I guess that solves the origin problem.<br /><br />Science was a lot better than most SF. No warp drive, no magic gravity, took about 6-8 months to get to Mars, liquid freezing in space, freeze-dried face without a helmet, etc. I have no opinion on how the stranded crew survived so long(in Zubrin's book he goes through the process of making fuel from martian soil--oxygen from greenhouse--I don't know), but they do have massive dust storms on Mars. If your problem is with the alien tech--well yes, but that's endemic in almost all SF.<br /><br />There's a lot of rubbish out there these days, I agree. This wasn't one of them.<br /><br />What did you think of Star Wars?

 

[Aetius]

On a similar note, I think that <i>Bikini Girls From The Lost Planet</i> is <b>much</b> better than <i>Mission To Mars</i>. <img src="/images/icons/wink.gif" />

 

[spacefire]

Alien Versus Predator was baaad baaad!<br />cheesy as hell and lame, trashing the two series which are a fine example of how good sci-fi movies were in the 80s....what a trite piece of crap. I am ashamed of owning it lol.<br /><br /><br /><br /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p>http://asteroid-invasion.blogspot.com</p><p>http://www.solvengineer.com/asteroid-invasion.html </p><p> </p> </div>

 

[Aetius]

I started to watch <i>Alien Versus Predator</i> with high hopes, but was quickly disappointed.<br />

 

[mental_avenger]

The new Battlestar Galactica is really bad. They don’t even come close to the original. I think it is an example of the special effects carrying the show, with the actors turning in amateurish B-movie performances.<br /><br />The new Lost In Space was equally as bad. Well the original wasn’t great, but it was far more entertaining than the miserable excuse for a remake.<br /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p style="margin-top:0in;margin-left:0in;margin-right:0in" class="MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman" size="2" color="#ff0000"><strong>Our Solar System must be passing through a Non Sequitur area of space.</strong></font></p> </div>

 

[JonClarke]

<i>There were no martians left on Mars,</i><br /><br />Martians = cliche. Why not show Mars as it really is - without Martians (for once)?<br /><br /><i> just like there may be no one left on Earth at some point when someone comes calling. I wonder how many unintentional booby-traps they might encounter? </i><br /><br />But this wasn't an accident involving abandoned technology, this was technology that was still carrying out its designed prupose. Technology that just happens to kill the first (international) crew but leaves one (American) survivor. This is logically unlikely, morally weak (especially when claiming that this movie presents aliens that are not bad and evil) and has a poisonous nationalistic subtext that international space missions are bad because foreigners are incompetent and put Americans in danger.<br /><br /><i>When we landed on the Moon, we raised a flag... When we land on Mars we'll do the same thing. </i><br /><br />It was supposed to be an international mission. Why not the UN flag, or a mission-specific flag? Assuming the firest misison will be American is another cliche. Plus the illogicality of it - raising a fallen flag is a bit of tiding up, nowhere near as important as finding what hapened to the crew of the earlier expedition. Plus the whole Iwo Jima pose was very jingoistic.<br /><br /><i>Acting, sound, effects, plot--I guess a matter of taste.</i><br /><br />Not entirely - there are standards that should be maintained. The whole over acted over emoted husband and wife death scene was rediculous.<br /><br />Do you really think NASA would send a crew that consisted on one randy young man, a husband an wife, and a man who had recently lost his own partner? Not a good crew selection.<br /><br />Plus the appalling and elementary science errors shows that the writer had no idea of their material.<br /><br />Not to mention the lifting of ideas from other movies - 2001, Conact, the Abyss, for starters.<br /><br /><i>I especially like that the martians</i> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><em>Whether we become a multi-planet species with unlimited horizons, or are forever confined to Earth will be decided in the twenty-first century amid the vast plains, rugged canyons and lofty mountains of Mars</em>  Arthur Clarke</p> </div>

 

[JonClarke]

I once posted on another board (BAUT) the following cliches regarding Mars movies:<br /><br />1. Mars looks remarkably like the SW of the USA.<br /><br />2. There is life on Mars<br /><br />3. There is (or was) intelligent life on Mars<br /><br />4. That life (intelligent or otherwise) is hostile of humanity<br /><br />5. Any government or coporate agency will be either incompetent or evil<br /><br />6. Mars settlements will be almost exclusively settled by people from the US.<br /><br />7. Mars missions will be almost exclusvely performed by the US. Any foreigners will be incompetent, evil, or simply killed off ASAP.<br /><br />8. The technology will be flawed in some fundamental way magically overlooked by review panels.<br /><br />9. The crew will consist of people who would fail even the most basic selection procedure, not surprisingly they then behave in extraordinarily immature and unprofessional ways.<br /><br />10. The movie will show staggering ignorance of the basics of the Mars environment and travelling there.<br /><br />11. The history of Mars settlement will show extraordinary similarities to the most cliched view of the US frontier.<br /><br />12. Mars will contain some extraordinarily hostile factor that has escaped or been overlooked by earlier explorers. This will render the surface of Mars totally usable for humans.<br /><br />Mission to Mars score 8 out of 12.<br /><br />What this leaves as a challenge to movie makers is to make a really good story that avoids all of these cliches. For such a movie to succeed it would have to be a movie would be original, clever, and intelligent. I am still waiting.<br /><br />Jon<br /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><em>Whether we become a multi-planet species with unlimited horizons, or are forever confined to Earth will be decided in the twenty-first century amid the vast plains, rugged canyons and lofty mountains of Mars</em>  Arthur Clarke</p> </div>

 

[Mee_n_Mac]

<font color="yellow"><i>The new Battlestar Galactica is really bad. They don’t even come close to the original. I think it is an example of the special effects carrying the show, with the actors turning in amateurish B-movie performances. </i></font><br /><br />I can't disagree more. The original series was a kids show. Starbuck and Apollo save the day ... again. Don't even get me started on BSG:1980. Good thing this thread isn't about the lamest space TV shows.<br /><br /><font color="yellow"><i>The new Lost In Space was equally as bad. Well the original wasn’t great, but it was far more entertaining than the miserable excuse for a remake. </i></font><br /><br />Boy, I had forgotten about this movie. Definitely has a place in the hall of fame for the lame. <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p>-----------------------------------------------------</p><p><font color="#ff0000">Ask not what your Forum Software can do do on you,</font></p><p><font color="#ff0000">Ask it to, please for the love of all that's Holy, <strong>STOP</strong> !</font></p> </div>

 

[specfiction]

<blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr /><p>At Martian distances exposed liquids don't instantly freeze in space, they boil. <p><hr /></p></p></blockquote><br /><br />Yes and No--depends on the temperature of the liquid before it was vented into space and whether we're facing the sun or in the shadows. Turning water from liquid to gas requires about 236 calories per gram, more than twice the heat it takes (on the ground) to warm it from near freezing to boiling. If water is vented to space, part of it immediately boils away, but the rest is cooled to where it freezes, into a sort of instant snow. Ultimately the frozen part also evaporates, since no equilibrium can exist between water (in any form) and a vacuum, but that happens more slowly. Like in Comets.<br /><br />"The toilet in the space shuttle looks like a toilet on an airplane. It has suction on it, like a vacuum. There are two kinds of waste — solid waste and urine, which is liquid. In space, we exhaust the liquid waste to the outside, because it's just like water and turns into ice crystals." -- Kennedy Space Center, Dr. Mae Jemison<br /><br /><br /><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr /><p>Why not show Mars as it really is - without Martians (for once)?<p><hr /></p></p></blockquote> <br /><br />Once again, there were no Martians in the film. Was there once life on Mars? There are a lot of people spending a lot of money trying to answer that question. Just last week they thought they saw liquid water on the surface of Mars.<br /><br /><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr /><p>No it doesn't - it pushes it back one stage further.<p><hr /></p></p></blockquote><br /><br />Anything we can propose viz origins (of anything) does this. However, there is a lot of discussion about organic material in meteors seeding Earth. If this were ever determined to be true, it would be a profound discovery.<br /><br />The flapping piece of plastic material--could be that the greenhouse wall was layered--stiff outer covering--

 

[hracctsold]

Have I found someone (like specfiction) who may actually think that "Mission to Mars" was not all that bad? It was certainly better then Red Planet that came out a few months later. And while I don't subscribe to the evolution "Theory" that some think is a proven fact, (more about that on the theology thread), I did enjoy the scene where all the animals progressed in the alien environment chamber. <br /><br />Side note: I finally did get a chance to see the last part of Solyent Green the other day, I probably mis-spelled that first word. The one where people were made into food pellets, or some such things, for the massive population of the time. And the star found out about it and was going to tell but was killed in the end. <br />Or maybe I should have posted a SPOILER ALERT for those young enough not to have seen that show from the '70's or so. But looking at it from today's view, I guess it wasn't that bad, or am I just being generous?

 

[specfiction]

Some time ago I watched Mission to Mars with an old friend who is the lead scientist developing the IR camera for the new generation space telescope--and he liked it very much. There are plenty of people who liked MTM--you're in good company.<br /><br />BTW, we unfortunately disagree on Evolution, but what's a little disagreement among friends...

 

[MeteorWayne]

<br />Re Mission to Mars:<br />I liked it a lot. I ignored the substantial bad science, and must admit I loved the story, despite the inconsistencies. I even suggested it as a present for this season for me <img src="/images/icons/smile.gif" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><font color="#000080"><em><font color="#000000">But the Krell forgot one thing John. Monsters. Monsters from the Id.</font></em> </font></p><p><font color="#000080">I really, really, really, really miss the "first unread post" function</font><font color="#000080"> </font></p> </div>

 

[Aetius]

Well, it was better than <i>Red Planet</i>.

 

[MeteorWayne]

True, I found Red Planet borrriiinnnggg. <br />Besides I was one in love with Amy <img src="/images/icons/smile.gif" /> <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><font color="#000080"><em><font color="#000000">But the Krell forgot one thing John. Monsters. Monsters from the Id.</font></em> </font></p><p><font color="#000080">I really, really, really, really miss the "first unread post" function</font><font color="#000080"> </font></p> </div>

 

[JonClarke]

In the movie the liquid was in the sun. It would have boiled first, eventually the residue would have frozen, because boiling is such an efficient way of losing heat. The sequence would cetainly not occur as shown in this movie, which was basically seetting the scene for the instant freeze of astronauts opposed to space.<br /><br />As I remember the mobie, it was the whole greenhouse structure that was billowing and flapping, not an outer layer. It it were an outer layer I'd concede that point (but I am not going to waste my money to find out!).<br /><br />Certain concessions have to made to an American mass mareket I agree. But still excessive jingoism should eb avoided.<br /><br />There is nothing wrong with postulating life originating on Mars. it is possible. It just does not solve the problem of how life oriuginates, as you suggests. What was most annoying about the idea in this film was linking it to intelligence martians - another cliche.<br /><br />Nothing wrong either with couples in space. I think it is an excellent idea and polar experience shows it is highly workable. NASA does not like it, though, at at official level. The only time a couple flew in space they were put on different shifts to minimise interaction. The problem in MtM was not the couple, but the apalling choice of the other crew members - one still in grief and other having hormone control problems.<br /><br />Does this matter? Yes, it does. Apart from a general dislike of bad stories and cliches, bad science in a film amount a mission that make well happen in our life times spreads ignorance and confusion about the actual issues of space travel. It is irresponsible movie making, much like Capricorn 1 and all to many historial films.<br /><br />That they are another story. But capricorn 1 I nominate for a lame and dorky award too <img src="/images/icons/smile.gif" /><br /><br /><br />Jon <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><em>Whether we become a multi-planet species with unlimited horizons, or are forever confined to Earth will be decided in the twenty-first century amid the vast plains, rugged canyons and lofty mountains of Mars</em>  Arthur Clarke</p> </div>

 

[hracctsold]

Jon,<br /><br />The last time this thread was current, "wvbraun" and I seem to have a running feud about Mars Attack. He on the positive side, and me on the "what were you thinking "side.<br /><br />While I don't have the time or energy to defend my thoughts on the show, I am enjoying reading your lengthy responses why Mission to Mars is a loser. Just as my taste in reading material is light weight to balance weighty resource and other materials I am involved in, so to is that taste in movies defined. If it is interesting, good actor placement, or just fun to watch is all I need.<br /><br />As I have said, the book, "Sphere" is more then just a good read, while the movie was a MAJOR disappointment even with the good actors in place. Post on, brother, post on!!!!

 

[hracctsold]

Capricorn 1 was interesting for two reasons, it was a "O.J" movie, and a conspirasy members unite movie as well. But is a good choice for here I think. Sorry about the spelling, it is late for me with a early tomorrow.<br /><br />I was just doing some tax class homework for a class I'm leading, and had Galaxy Quest and Groundhog day on as background noise. G Q is a funny rip off of most all the other sci/fi shows, and I have a running arguement with a friend about how long Bill Murrey's character was stuck in that town. I was thinking only a year to a few years, and he was thinking alot longer. <br /><br />For anyone who knows about Groundhog Day, how long do you think it was?

 

[steve70]

I find it hard to believe no one has mentioned 'Flash Gordon' circa 1980 IIRC. The movie did have a soundtrack by Queen though.

 

[MeteorWayne]

Barberella!! <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><font color="#000080"><em><font color="#000000">But the Krell forgot one thing John. Monsters. Monsters from the Id.</font></em> </font></p><p><font color="#000080">I really, really, really, really miss the "first unread post" function</font><font color="#000080"> </font></p> </div>

 

[Aetius]

I liked <i>Flash Gordon</i>! <img src="/images/icons/smile.gif" /> I gave the moviemakers credit for being faithful to the look of the original Alex Raymond comic strip and movie serials. The easy path would have been to just reimagine the whole project as a <i>Star Wars</i> rip-off, especially in 1980.<br /><br />The soundtrack by Queen is just gravy.

 

[Mee_n_Mac]

<i>Flash</i> was just on last week. I have to say it's dorky and over the top but I like it. It was supposed to be over the top. Besides Ornella Muti in spandex ... even CE could appreciate that ! <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p>-----------------------------------------------------</p><p><font color="#ff0000">Ask not what your Forum Software can do do on you,</font></p><p><font color="#ff0000">Ask it to, please for the love of all that's Holy, <strong>STOP</strong> !</font></p> </div>

 

[hracctsold]

While that version of Flash was not one of my favorites, I did not mind it at all. I think you are right about some movies being dorky in a GOOD sense of the word. <br />Trouble is though, some movies that fit that catagory try to take themself to seriously, and then that makes them become a real joke.

 

[spacefire]

The Core was horribly Core-ny.<br />I hated that one...worse science than in Armageddon.<br />Bad acting.<br />It sucked. <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p>http://asteroid-invasion.blogspot.com</p><p>http://www.solvengineer.com/asteroid-invasion.html </p><p> </p> </div>

 

[sorehed]

<i>Contact</i>, the movie based on the book by Sagan. It's terrible. I still collapse in laughter everytime I hear that line from it, "But I guess I'd say if it is just us... seems like an awful waste of space." <img src="/images/icons/laugh.gif" /><br /><br />That 80's version of <i>Flash</i> was fun, though.<br />

 

[JonClarke]

I love groundhog day! I think he was stuck there for years. Now long you you think it takes to become a piano virtuoso?<br /><br />Jon <div class="Discussion_UserSignature"> <p><em>Whether we become a multi-planet species with unlimited horizons, or are forever confined to Earth will be decided in the twenty-first century amid the vast plains, rugged canyons and lofty mountains of Mars</em>  Arthur Clarke</p> </div>